For those that have taken this journey with me from the very beginning, you would have read my first blog which I wrote because everyone was always asking me why I couldn't be like someone or everyone else. Apparently, to the world, I stood out like a sore thumb. And, more current, if you read my blog about the way I dressed and saw the picture, you would think that was it.
However, I interpreted that question, posed to me, as a comparison that was being made that I somehow was a part of but not of my own volition and unfortunately didn’t stack up to whomever else they were looking at. Now had they let me pick the person I was to be compared to, we may have had a different outcome. But I digress. Getting back to it, I made the case that I wasn’t like anyone else, nor anyone quite like me. So, it really rattles my brain, how I now have become everyone?
I remember my first lecture, conference, workshop, when the speaker would take the stage, introduce themselves and then start by telling their audience what issue or issues “everyone” was experiencing. Of course, because their speaking topic was the revelations of how to get over, resolve or let go of whatever it was……. OK. But at some point when you have done all of the homework given so far, that has propelled you further along; that you have released negative thoughts, attitudes, where you listen instead of talk, you give more than you receive, you get over your self-importance, insecurities, fear, you tap into the creative forces and are present more than you care to be, they still remind you “everyone” is still dealing with all of that. But you are not and you wonder why they are not evolving and transforming themselves and their lectures as they themselves have instructed you to do.
And being an astute surveyor of someone else's life, you may say, “Hey, Karen Frances, maybe you are going to the wrong lecture, conferences, workshops.” And that may be true, however if you are taking them to learn, to build on your base and resolve to do the work and then you do, then shouldn’t said workshop, lecture, conference aspire and evolve as well on to the next level three, five years later? Or in their eyes, does no one ever get it. Does no one ever make it out of the toilet and into the river, where there is much more room to grow and very much more that you don’t know?
So I select the workshops, conferences and lectures that claim to be at the next level, your next level, after you have been at it for a while and need new tools, a new perspective, a new soundtrack to re-energize you and push you further on. And so I go, with excitement, looking forward to hearing what I haven't heard before, already, at some point. YAY! The speaker begins with an introduction of him/herself and then glides into the statement I am now responding to inside my head in a fervent pitch, “We are all what? No we are NOT!!!!!!” and then my favorite, most colorful expletive, “@%#$%@!*# %^#!@+*&z$$$*”.
And now, whatever high ledge I had blown myself up to be on has now been obliterated and I am falling down, down, down into a big, mucky pool of ‘wtf’. I decided it was best to cease and desist and basically gave up. If the universe has a lesson for me, there is no doubt in my mind that I will receive it.
So, last week, I am talking on the phone to my new friend and the Reiki Master that will ceremoniously impart me with ‘Master’. We are having a general, soulful conversation when he says to me, “Everyone assumes that …….”. Well, if you think I heard anything after those first three words, I did not. I was beyond pissed. And if you think I let him finish that sentence, I did not. No, like a true Reiki Master, I went at him with both barrels. Sigh.
God have mercy on my soul, I promise to use my Mastery for good...
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