I entered the Corporate world in my mid-twenties after walking away from a nursing career for various reasons. Corporate America is where I grew up, where I was fostered to be a leader, and to which I accepted that position very seriously. As I climbed the corporate ladder, I was, for the most part, insulated in smaller companies where I worked across departments and learned to foster those bridges and very necessary relationships. Connections that allowed for lots of mistakes to learn from and a wide range of support to assist me in getting the job done. However, that started to come undone when the international company of 7,000 I worked for was bought by a larger international company of 65,000. To say things changed dramatically was an understatement.
I was sent into locations where people from the company purchasing us knew they were losing their jobs, while the ones being purchased were remaining mostly intact due to a SEC ruling and the fact that we had the corporate presence and the greater infrastructure already in place in the Americas. For the first time in my corporate career, I had to immerse myself into a very fragile environment, seen plainly as the enemy, and somehow create a relationship of trust and collaboration in order to marry the two companies on our technology platforms. On my own and never having had this experience, I did the only thing that I knew how to do; I was honest, mindful and respectful while empathetically sharing in every single emotion that was permeating the air around me. Trust me when I tell you, there were times when I was crying right along with them. Sigh.
Two years later when we had successfully transitioned into the melting pot between these two corporations, I found myself more uncomfortable with the change in attitude, culture and management. And not that I had an issue with change, I was a constant change agent and remained flexible to the various directions we were being pointed in, however, I was an immovable object when it came to morals and ethics and doing the right thing. I worked in Human Resources, the heart and soul of any business and I grew up in companies where the head of HR stood firm and unflappable as the guiding light of right and truth and compassion. I never forgot how that looked or felt and how proud it made me feel to be a part of it. But now I was seeing how things were done more behind the Corporate veil, behind our backs, void of any compassion, less attention to people impacted and more to the bottom line. I found myself, more times than not, sitting in department meetings among management staff, my peers, disagreeing with some event they were about to enact that wasn’t quite right or some policy that was being bastardized to fit the numbers. It was at that point I realized that there are some soldiers that will do what they are told regardless of the fallout and that I, no matter the fallout or how anyone else regarded me, was going to be respectfully outspoken, tactfully disagree and push back against wrongdoing, much to the annoyance of my colleagues. I was making them uncomfortable with challenges to some of our Senior leader’s proposals and they didn’t feel that that was the best thing to do; Which one? Rocking the boat or putting the truth out there which shone a light on their refusal to stand up? Hmmmm.
I remember at some point, the entire HR team, about sixty of us, herded into a conference room for a workshop in team building where we were all very happy to spend time together and away from our desks. There were three lanes mapped out with blue tape, running from the front to the back of the room, and we were all asked to stand in the middle lane. The exercise, as the moderator explained, was that we would be read statements regarding various daily interactions and work ethos and if we felt it was true for us, we should step into the lane to our left or “Left lane” and if they were false for us, we should step to the right or into the “Right lane”. “Got it? Ok then. Let the games begin!”
As we started to go through some simple statements, some of us went left and some of us went right and it was fun to have an actual visual and interesting to see who, among the group, thought as you did or believed they behaved that way. There was teasing and laughter and for every statement thus far, everyone reacted immediately. As we progressed, the statements got a bit more weighted until we arrived at the statement that asked us if we thought we were more controversial or made others uncomfortable, with how we felt or things we said. And for the first time during this whole sharing experience, about seven people dawdled in the middle lane, not sure which lane they belonged in. Hmmm. I immediately stepped to the left while everyone else stepped to the right and both sides watched those in the middle play out their conundrum; I secretly prayed that those seven hold outs would join me, even one of them; “Please God, do not leave me to stand here all by myself.
However as I watched each of the remaining people look left and then move into the right lane, my heart completely sank and I found myself absolutely awkward, facing fifty-nine of my colleagues across this great divide, looking directly at me, standing together, a united front. I wanted to evaporate into thin air. No one said a word, complete silence and the most uncomfortable and exposed that I have ever felt in my life; my stomach was churning. I will never forget the absolute stillness in the room, but despite this and whatever greater force was helping me at that very moment, I stood erect, right at the blue line, looked directly back at them and after about ten seconds, I opened up my mouth and said, “I am sorry if I make you uncomfortable, that is not my intention, but I will always speak up for what I believe is right and tell the truth, no matter how uncomfortable that is for you.”
Well, if you are holding your breath, waiting for this great dialogue or realization that erupted in the room, or any reaction from a colleague, you can exhale now. There was none, not even a smile. The moderator then jumped in, ended the exercise with no attention to what had just occurred and it was never mentioned again by anyone in the seven years that I remained there. But I can tell you that things were never the same afterward and neither was I. And as I continued there and on to other corporations, I would bear witness to disingenuous acts, some unethical, some just downright wrong, perpetrated by my own department and find it absurdly comical that every employee had to read and sign a Corporate Responsibility and Ethics policy annually.
I realize that I have a Bachelors in moral compass, a Masters in ethics and a Ph.D. in truth; I am the one that when warranted, says what needs to be said at the most awkward of times, or the most challenging of times, but at the most pivotal of times, when the truth of what is right needs to be stated, especially when no one wants to hear it or wants to keep it unsaid; that is the responsibility that I have been blessed with and the one that labels me less than popular. And it is not the intention to judge or to put someone in their place, but it is with truth spoken and verbalizing what is the “right or moral thing” that we then have a choice, a choice of what our next action in response to that will be. And it is in that choice, that you own it, no matter what and herein lies the great discomfort. It is in that choice that everyone knows the truth and you can no longer rationalize behind what has been brought out of hiding. And things are a helluva lot easier when everyone knows which lane they are moving in.
So I say to all of you out there that stand alone at the blue line, stating the truth when it is the hardest to hear or that proves to add more haters to your list. Although it is quite difficult, stand strong and hold that line. It is the most important job you will ever have but the one that has the greatest impact. Some day, a few of those haters will tell you just how much you impacted them in that moment and in their life and for that, I am most certain………
So, is it going to be left or right?
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