For a majority and throughout my adult life, people that I knew and that knew me well, would pose variations of the same question to me in regards to dissimilarities in my beliefs, thoughts and conduct, my dear mother and late husband being two of them; "Why can't you be like so and so", or "Why can't you be like everyone else?"
These questions were always posed in response to how I didn't aspire to someone else's opinion of what a better version of myself would be or what everyone else was going along with.
When I was 24, I made a very deliberate decision of what kind of person I wanted to be and a commitment to myself to work hard at it every single day. A whole lot of years later, I still do, albeit, kinder.
I was never one to follow the “norm” nor really notice what the “norm” was at any point in time. I really didn’t mind what people thought of me, only what I thought about me; who else would know better of me than me? And trust me, I always place myself under the highest scrutiny.
So my responses would always be "because I don't want to be like (so and so) or if I didn’t like who they were, "why would I want to be like (so and so)?" and finally, to end the inquisition, "because I don't want to be like everyone else."
But I didn’t fail to notice nor wonder, at these particular times, what in the world about me not going along, was making people, (especially my mother!) so damn uncomfortable that they had to challenge that about me.
I have learned over a great many years that if you are having a problem with me in my decisions of how I like to conduct myself at any given moment, it is because I am reflecting back to you something about yourself that you are not too comfortable with. And trust me, I have had enough people mirroring back to me the things that I do not like to see about myself - Cringe. As my wise friend Albus would say, “What a great gift!”.
So I will continue to make every effort to be “different” in a way that allows me great compassion and understanding, generosity and service and smile warmly when asked why I can’t be like everyone else, knowing that at that precise moment I am receiving great confirmation that I am “Nailing it”!
